Thursday, March 29, 2007

25 Worst Rapper Names of All Time

Friend of the family Dustin Glick, the artist extraordinaire responsible for the drawing you see to the right, penned this hysterical look at the 25 Worst Rapper Names of All Time for Cracked Magazine. While I agree with his #1 pick, there's a red dot between the eyes for putting Devin the Dude on there and leaving out Edgar Allen Floe. Did he forget anyone obvious? Holla.

25 Worst Rapper Names of All Time

- J. New


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dustin's the guy who does "Birdy", right? Funny stuff.

I think "Prince Rakeem" is a pretty bad name. Good thing he got on some RZAness right quick.

1:03 PM  
Blogger Russ the Bus said...

Yeah Wex, he's doin Devin wrong, man. that guy is periodically my favorite artist.

Chamillionaire's pseudonyms are even worse, among them: Chamillinator, Chamillitary Mayne, and King Koopa

but here's some more bad ones:
Yung Wun (or for that matter, anyone thats 'Young' or 'Lil' anything)
Juvenile (cause he's not)
Ying Yang Twins (got the yin wrong but at least its not 'twinz')
Royce da 5'9" (shoulda lied and called himself Royce da 6'3" or something)

and since we gotta stop hatin on the south, the worst:


1:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i didnt post that... jay did.

i love dustin... but i disagreed with a bunch of those. he's a funny dude, tho. no devin.

1:54 PM  
Blogger Russ the Bus said...

my bad. Jay, thanks for givin Devin his due props

2:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If Raekwon The Chef was wack, it would be a wack name. The Chef? But fortunately he's a genius fly MC, so the name works.


My favourite discussion of rapper names, of course, is the interlude on Enter The Wu-Tang where Meth breaks down all their names. "And he'll take you to COURT after that, that's why he the Inspectah. And also, he's the Rebel INS."

Oh yeah, by the way, he's also the Rebel INS. That also cracks me up.

And of course "...and Baby U, he the, he the psychopathic thinker..."

I.e. He gets no play on this album and we're not going to spend any time on him.

I fucking love U-God, man. He always brings a special something to songs he's on. The only rapper (besides Ghost, maybe) who could say "My orchestra, graceful, music, ballerinas", and have it sound cool.

2:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i liked u-god on cherchez la ghost...

3:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fuck it, I'm starting my own list of favourite U-God appearances. Notice that none of them are on his own songs. "Cherchez La Ghost" is a'ight, no doubt. I gotta pre-empt all you sleepers who forgot to take No-Doze.

1. "Black Jesus" off IRONMAN
2. "Knuckleheadz" off CUBAN LINX
3. "Da Mystery Of Chessboxin'" off ENTER THE WU (short but sweet)
4. "Gravel Pit" off THE W
5. "Deadly Melody" off WU-TANG FOREVER (one of the most underrated and best Wu posse cuts)

In fact, that song is so dope, here's his entire verse:

Psssh, yo
Pile-driver Tut boulder face blow Hulk
Anger rap book causin chess blade smoke
Minds the trunk, punk, elephant gun poke
Jaw-breaker humanoid vice-grip, choke
Face the inferno, maestro, pull it
Pipe hard slang, bite the golden bullet
Never, sold my soul Golden Arm cold stinger
See me on the streets address me stone bringer
Ease away, freeze back, feedback, play out in
sweet action packed rap
Bite it, stomp on a beat
Posess hollow head battle teeth Tony Atlas
Wu status, now, wisdom to the masses

4:35 PM  
Blogger Charlie said...

wait, what was the name of that basketball player who recently dropped an album and sold something like 30 copies? he's pretty sucky.

11:49 PM  
Blogger Russ the Bus said...

Ron Artest. If that wasn't his real name, it could have made the list.

Downey- you make a good point about 'The Chef.' There are certain names that seem wack as far as rapper names go, but then the artist himself appropriates the imagery of the name and exposes subtle metaphors involved in it. "Raekwon, he the chef, cause he always cookin up some marvelous shit" straight up.
But i dont think that kind of consideration went into making the list. It seems to be just judging the names on thier own, not the names as representations of the rapper. Rhymefest lives up to his name, both by his ironic sensability and with the flow. I thought that was a retarded name when i first saw it, but when i heard him, i was like "aight, thats Rhymefest, that's what a 'Rhymefest' sounds like." Not to harp, but Devin the Dude has a perfect name too. Damn near every song is about pussy, weed, and beer. Yes, these are three of my favorite things, but i use the word 'dude' a lot too.

9:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


A brilliant point, well put. If you were a rapper, you'd be called The Polemicist, and I have no doubt you yourself would appropriate the inherent imageray and expose all the subtle metaphors hidden in it.

Oops. What am I saying. *If* you were a rapper? Of course you're a rapper! You're Russ the Freaking Buss!

DownSyndrome Jr.

9:23 AM  
Blogger Russ the Bus said...

if i branch out beyond the karaoke set, i might use that, i'll be Yung Polemicist.
No, i'll still be Russ the Bus, but i'll get a crew of even worse rappers than myself (which will be a rare find) and they'll be called Polemic City.

10:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What about Zeb Love X AKA King Ghidorah(who names themselvesafter a 3 headed monster that gets beat the hell up by Godzilla?) AKA Metal Face Doom(how many of you knew what the MF really stood for)? Or MC Serch(well did he find who/what he was looking for)?

3:59 PM  
Blogger raybanoutlet001 said...

nike huarache
hermes belts
hugo boss sale
pandora outlet
coach handbags
true religion outlet
oakley sunglasses wholesale
nike shoes
asics shoes
coach outlet

2:10 AM  
Blogger noor said...

غسيل خزانات بالمدينة المنورة
افضل شركة نظافة بالمدينة المنورة

8:27 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home